Questions of the Week

Some things to ponder going into the weekend:

- is there a bigger cockshiner on TV nowadays than Cris Collinsworth? This fucknut makes me long to hear Billy Packer get on the mic. If I was teaching someone the English language, starting with the naughty words of course, when we got to douchebag I would play a 30 second clip of CC yammering on and there would be instant comprehension. He's added a new wrinkle this year where he talks about the Patriots in a smug, snarky manner as if he has something to do with their success. And you can't get away from this prick either, he's on NBC's crapfest and has ruined Inside the NFL. Hopefully Dan Marino learned a thing or two about violence filming Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and will beat Collinsworth to a pulp asap.

- does anyone take it seriously anymore when they mention the Mets as a possible destination for a free agent? The classic ploy by agents is to get the NY teams involved to drive your price up. But does anyone really think Jorge Posada is coming to the Mets? Or A-Rod? I've heard the argument that the Mets should play along to drive up the prices of these guys for the Yankees (or the Dodgers). But does this even make sense? Doing so will just drive up the price of the (second tier) guy the Mets do actually wind up getting. At least once say "we're not involved, we have no interest whatsoever ever ever ever" and see what happens.

- will I watch one second of live NBA action this year? For me the magic 8 ball isn't seeing much likelihood, certainly not as long as David Stern is involved, possibly not ever again. Just can't get myself even remotely into it.

- has there ever been a better press conference moment than Denny Green's blowup last year? Press conferences are incredibly dull, I've tried watching ESPN's coverage of them on a Monday day off and it is the single most boring thing one can experience. There have been some notable exceptions of course, everyone loves "Playoffs?!?! P-p-p-playoffs?!!?!", "We talking about practice" and of course John Chaney trying to kick John Calipari's ass. With the NFL being a copycat league, and the coach being copied being the most miserable fuck walking the planet we may never see another moment like Denny's "You wanna crown them? Then crown their ass!" tirade, the greatest press conference moment in history.

- will one of these monster locks ever hit? Yes hot dammit, this one. Buffalo giving 2.5 to the lowly Fish at Joe Robbie or whatever the hell that lifeless dump the Canes will be calling home next year is called. The Bills are a tough group despite all the injuries and have a winning record against the spread with one of their real (and spread) losses coming against the team that runs up the score. And the Fish have made such poor personnel decisions that this movement to blow the team up completely and start over gets my full endorsement. Bet a testicle on it.