Fantasy Draft Results

Nothing is more tedious than hearing about someone's fantasy team. Its worse than hearing about someone's birdie putt that was really a bogey putt that they left two inches short. So without further adieu, please step inside the Shark Sandwich war room:

Round One -
I am picking third, can't really fuck this one up. LT first, Gore second because the Dogg is a Niners fan, I go Steven Jackson over LJ because I think Herm may kill LJ this year. Break time.

Two -
I obviously need another running back and there is not much there. That prick Woods picked father of the year Travis Henry one pick before me so I go Ronnie Brown. We get a point per reception and I hear Cam Cam Cam Cameron wants to get Ronnie the bean both on handoffs and short drop offs. I also hear that they had him return a couple of kickoffs to see what happens. I seem to remember the Giants doing that with Sehorn a few years ago and it completely ruined his career. So that's a happy thought.

Three -
These online drafts go a lot quicker, I can't believe I'm on the clock already. I can shore up my RB bench (we only start two) or get a high end receiver. I go receiver since there is a lot of real estate between me and my next pick and take Roy Williams. I had him a couple of years ago and it was a year too early. This year Martz will get him the ball if it kills him.

Four -
In my downtime a bunch of the top notch QBs are taken and some of the better receivers. But the mini-run on QBs means that Andre Johnson is still there and I snatch him up immediately. Two number one receivers, and I had Andre in my first tier. Score.

Five -
Again, this draft zips by, especially at the end of the row where the picks go rapid fire if the guys on the end know what they're doing. I need to revisit the RB situation and its basically Marshawn Lynch or All Day. I know Marshawn is going to start right away but I'm scared of guys on Buffalo unless we're doing IDP's (we're not). I go with Peterson and the potential for greatness.

Six -
The aforementioned QB run has left the QB cupboard bare and I know I need to pull the trigger around this point in the draft. In the second straight high risk round I go McNasty. I'm officially shitting my pants about this pick. I never focus my team around QBs but if he goes down I am fucked.

Seven -
K2 and Heap go off the board so I'm passing on TE for a while. Last year I weighted my TEs too high and it bit me in the ass so I'd rather beef up other areas. Mark Clayton is going into his third year in the league, a time most guys start to get it. He's the number one receiver in Bawlmer now. Their offense sucks but their defense gives them posessions. I love this pick.

Eight -
The second tier TE's go off the board but Witten is still there. Since the Angry Armenian and the Dogg just took tight ends I know I can wait on Witten with Plexi-Glas staring me in the face. Another guy who is the number one receiver on his team.

Nine -
Witten. I hope I'm not missing something on this guy, I think he is great. I don't know why everyone is down on this guy, its not like he ran a dogfighting ring in his backyard.

Ten -
It basically comes down to Warrick Dunn vs. Braylon Edwards. Dunn is a small guy on the wrong side of 30 coming off back surgery on a team that has a new coach and had some minor offseason incidents. I'm a little WR heavy but Edwards is the star receiver on a team that will be playing from behind a lot vs. a guy in Dunn who I would hope to never use. Not an easy call but I go Edwards.

Eleven -
I want more depth at RB and even though Tatum Bell isn't a question mark, he's ten question marks, he gets the call. The Kevin Jones injury sitch sounds worse by the minute. Hopefully Tatum doesn't see much time for Shark Sandwich.

Twelve -
I was keen on getting either Leinart, Cutler, Rivers or Romo but none are left so I go Eli. He takes a lot of bullshit for not being his toolbag brother but his fantasy numbers are surprisingly good when you look at them.

Thirteen -
I'm not big on handcuffing at all. So needless to say with Chester the Molester still here he just got the call. I'm sure he is thrilled, as am I to have locked down the backfield of a team that some are calling the worst in the league.

The rest -
All meaningless positions like DST (Cowboys, Jets for the homer pick/special teams production), kicker (Olindo Mare for a dome kicker, Mike Nugent for another homer) and Chris Brown for a guy who could surprise.

All in all I like my team. Loaded at wide receiver. A little risky at RB and QB but serious, serious upside potential there. Solid if not spectacular elsewhere in the positions that don't count. I didn't get sucked into any runs and just kept stockpiling weapons. The results will be there soon enough but for right now I can dig it.