....I'm back. And you can partially thank Brett Favre's coming out of his latest retirement for me coming out of mine. Also tack on the fact that I am 12 days from having a newborn keeping me up at all hours of the night and, well, I'm going to have to do something at 2am on a Tuesday night. Its obviously been a while since I still have the Rudy 2008 banner up there, if I can figure out how I got it there I'll figure out how to take it down.
You may have heard that in a transaction that flew under the radar the Jets picked up exactly what the team needs: a 39 year old quarterback whose good year last season somehow erased the three consecutive awful seasons he posted before last year. Adam Schein of SNY and myself are apparently the only two people in the tri-state area who hate this move. For me, it all started on the last game of the season a few years ago when he gave Mark Gastineau's sack record to Michael Strahan in a move that showed an incredible lack of dignity and integrity. Nobody seemed to want Gastineau to hold that record because life after football for old #99 hasn't exactly been overflowing with dignity and integrity in his own right. Sham boxing matches, drug arrests, meeting the Dogg and myself at the Jets draft party, and while watching your ex-wife slut it up on national tv must be horrible, watching her do it with your daughter must be excruciating. But what Favre did was the equivalent of one of Big Mac's buddies pitching underhand to him on the way to 62 homeruns.
Of course, since Teflon Brett was involved, it gets laughed off by the media because he is "just a simple country boy" who is "a gunslinger" and is always "having so much fun out there". I don't buy this carefully crafted bullshit image for a second. This guy is a shameless self promoter on a level not seen outside of professional wrestling. He drags a few national media members (I'm looking at you Peter King and Chris Mortenson) by the short hairs because a Favre story means ratings. The local beat writers in Green Bay are thrilled that he is gone because he would never even consider speaking to them. This persona he has created gives him creative license to throw ridiculous interceptions that would get any other qb skewered by the media. But if #4 does it he is "like a kid in the sandlot". (And on a side note, a reference to kids playing in a sandlot doesn't register with anyone under the age of 60. I don't even know what a sandlot is).
Speaking of bad interceptions, check out this little nugget. Everyone remembers the absurd pick he threw in the 4th and 26 game against the Eagles in the playoffs in 2004. Apparently the good ol' boy didn't like the play call that came in from the sideline so he decided to just heave it up there. To prove a point. This is not the only time he has done this. This speaks volumes about his selfish nature. What will happen when Brian Schottenheimer, who is younger than the Almighty One, sends in a play that Brett doesn't like?
Some people will say "hey, the Jets are going to suck this year, they might as well do this". Wrong. Not about the Jets sucking, yes, I agree they will suck. But that means you spend this year seeing what Clemens can do. The limited time he was under center last year was not a large enough sample to see what you have there, especially the way he was running for his life back there. There is also the little issue of the fact that over 10% of our payroll will go to Favre. You're telling me that money couldn't have been spent more effectively?
Will Brett the Jet increase ratings? Yes. Will it get more people talking about the Jets? Already has. Are these things I give a flying fuck about? No. With or without Brett the absolute best case scenario for the Jets is to squeak into the playoffs as a six seed in an AFC that is loaded with great teams. And then he quits again because in case you haven't heard we weren't exactly number one on his list. This is better than developing for the future how exactly? I know the Jets are second class citizens in this town but have things sunk so low that all we can hope for is 9-7 and the tiebreakers to fall our way en route to a first round exit? Embarassing. But then again, getting Brett will make it easier for most people to stomach the personal seat licensing fees that are about to be announced......hmmm, do you think maybe THAT had $omething to do with it?!?!
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Equality Now!
Statement #1: "I am voting for Obama because I want a black man in the White House".
Statement #2: "I am voting for McCain because I want a white man in the White House".
Read both of those statements out loud a couple of times. They are fundamentally the exact same sentence. The only structural difference is the name of the candidate and the description of their skin color. Yet the perception that these two very similar statements are so very different holds the key to this November's election (if Osama wins the Democratic nomination).
If you are black it is assumed that statement number one is the sole determining factor in your choice to vote for Osama. It is considered a complete and thorough justification for choosing the highest elected official on the planet. I am not black but I would be offended by this implication that blacks are incapable of making an informed decision that is based on anything so basic as the color of the candidate's skin. Meanwhile if you are black and say statement #2 you are the ultimate Uncle Tom, selling out your brothers and sisters for no good reason.
If you are white and say statement number one you are a hero to your liberal friends. You have finally come around to see the evil that white men perpetrate. It is time to give someone else a chance because white men have run this country for so long and look at where it has gotten us. Forget the fact that we have the number one economy in the world and are the number one superpower. We'll be better off letting someone else take that role, like China or the Russkies, and we can be their little buddy. They would never hurt us.
Now imagine the uproar from the media if someone from CNN with a camera catches a white guy saying statement #2 while wearing a McCain hat. A witch hunt will immediately commence. This man will be derided as being a Nazi (an ignorant statement to say the least seeing how the Nazi's were National Socialists, and I have yet to meet a socialist Republican). The man's picture would be plastered on the front page of that birdcage liner the NY Times under the heading "White Supremacist Backs McCain". He would almost definitely lose his job and may even have to go into hiding or move to another state to live in anonymity. For saying essentially the same thing that the media are using to push black folks to vote in record numbers.
Therein lies the rub. The people that claim to be the main proponents of equality are in fact pushing inequality. If the election comes down to McCain v. Osama anything negative brought up about Osama will immediately be called racist. Similarly, whites have been hammered away at by the media for at least my entire lifetime and I'm guessing it didn't start on the day I was born. This has lead to many whites being so hypersensitive about being called a racist that they will base their vote on being able to say that they aren't a racist. This is hardly a reason to choose a president. Even worse than solely basing it on the color of the candidate's skin.
Statement #2: "I am voting for McCain because I want a white man in the White House".
Read both of those statements out loud a couple of times. They are fundamentally the exact same sentence. The only structural difference is the name of the candidate and the description of their skin color. Yet the perception that these two very similar statements are so very different holds the key to this November's election (if Osama wins the Democratic nomination).
If you are black it is assumed that statement number one is the sole determining factor in your choice to vote for Osama. It is considered a complete and thorough justification for choosing the highest elected official on the planet. I am not black but I would be offended by this implication that blacks are incapable of making an informed decision that is based on anything so basic as the color of the candidate's skin. Meanwhile if you are black and say statement #2 you are the ultimate Uncle Tom, selling out your brothers and sisters for no good reason.
If you are white and say statement number one you are a hero to your liberal friends. You have finally come around to see the evil that white men perpetrate. It is time to give someone else a chance because white men have run this country for so long and look at where it has gotten us. Forget the fact that we have the number one economy in the world and are the number one superpower. We'll be better off letting someone else take that role, like China or the Russkies, and we can be their little buddy. They would never hurt us.
Now imagine the uproar from the media if someone from CNN with a camera catches a white guy saying statement #2 while wearing a McCain hat. A witch hunt will immediately commence. This man will be derided as being a Nazi (an ignorant statement to say the least seeing how the Nazi's were National Socialists, and I have yet to meet a socialist Republican). The man's picture would be plastered on the front page of that birdcage liner the NY Times under the heading "White Supremacist Backs McCain". He would almost definitely lose his job and may even have to go into hiding or move to another state to live in anonymity. For saying essentially the same thing that the media are using to push black folks to vote in record numbers.
Therein lies the rub. The people that claim to be the main proponents of equality are in fact pushing inequality. If the election comes down to McCain v. Osama anything negative brought up about Osama will immediately be called racist. Similarly, whites have been hammered away at by the media for at least my entire lifetime and I'm guessing it didn't start on the day I was born. This has lead to many whites being so hypersensitive about being called a racist that they will base their vote on being able to say that they aren't a racist. This is hardly a reason to choose a president. Even worse than solely basing it on the color of the candidate's skin.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
January Madness
Maybe it should read MORE January Madness. Either this has been an incredibly bizarre month or I just haven't been paying attention for the past 6 years or so. Anyway..........
- looks like I'll be retiring that Join Rudy banner. Woodrow likened Rudy's bedshitting to the 2006 Mets collapse. Seeing as how the Mets' season was cancelled last year I had no idea what he was talking about. I have racked my brain trying to think of someone whose stock fell so far so quickly WITHOUT a major faux paus like blurting out a racial slur in front of a running camera. I don't think we'll see too many hopefuls following Rudy's strategy of not setting foot in the early states while letting the other guys eat up the headlines. I don't see Rudy as a VP type of guy but if McCain wins the strap Rudy will get a major post.
The real killer here is that Rudy had by far the best economic plan. Steve Forbes reviewed Rudy's plan on his website far more eloquently than I ever could (I would post a link but I don't want Forbes to unleash his lawyers on me, I'm sure he wants no association with this drivel). But the one nugget from the article that I can't get off my mind is that the U.S. has the second highest corporate tax rate in the world. You want to grow the economy? Don't give everyone a thousand bucks, slash that fucking corporate tax rate so doing business here becomes feasible again.
- asshole Yankee fans, douchebag Sawwwwwwwx fans and worst franchise ever so who the fuck are you to talk Phillies Phans are greeting the arrival of Johan with obnoxious "look at the Mets fans celebrating in January" bullshit type taunts. Eat a dick. We just got the best pitcher in baseball. A lefty, and not some noodle arm pretty boy like Barry Zito. We gave up four guys who will have no impact on the 2008 season regardless of what major league team they are affiliated with. A couple of weeks ago everyone said we were out of this derby and we got him. That's about the best thing that can happen to your team in January so excuse us for being pumped up. Fuckfaces.
ps I loved Glavine downplaying the addition of Santana. He replaces you quite nicely dipshit and is a pretty significant upgrade from your old, no-heart, Braves t-shirt under your Met jersey ass so zip it.
- finally, not to beat a dead horse but this week's super bowl hype has been a series of articles saying definitively that if the Patriots win they are the greatest team ever and nobody else has an argument. This is plain laziness by writers and is also asinine. Did anyone consider the '72 Dolphins the greatest team ever? And just walk away if you find yourself listening to some schmuck saying "Well today's players are bigger and faster". Do you honestly think that players from bygone eras would not eat and train in the same manner that players of today do if the older guys came up now? Back in the day half the team used to smoke cigarettes during halftime in the locker room. Paul Hornung used to wake up after staying out all night chasing poon and drink a serious amount of whiskey in the morning before he walked out the door for practice. Might help explain the gambling problem that got him suspended from the league. Something tells me those activities might be frowned upon in today's environment. If you think they have the best players, fine. If you think they have the best coach that's fine too. But don't use those other points as the thrust of your argument or I'll get Santana to bean you with a heater.
- looks like I'll be retiring that Join Rudy banner. Woodrow likened Rudy's bedshitting to the 2006 Mets collapse. Seeing as how the Mets' season was cancelled last year I had no idea what he was talking about. I have racked my brain trying to think of someone whose stock fell so far so quickly WITHOUT a major faux paus like blurting out a racial slur in front of a running camera. I don't think we'll see too many hopefuls following Rudy's strategy of not setting foot in the early states while letting the other guys eat up the headlines. I don't see Rudy as a VP type of guy but if McCain wins the strap Rudy will get a major post.
The real killer here is that Rudy had by far the best economic plan. Steve Forbes reviewed Rudy's plan on his website far more eloquently than I ever could (I would post a link but I don't want Forbes to unleash his lawyers on me, I'm sure he wants no association with this drivel). But the one nugget from the article that I can't get off my mind is that the U.S. has the second highest corporate tax rate in the world. You want to grow the economy? Don't give everyone a thousand bucks, slash that fucking corporate tax rate so doing business here becomes feasible again.
- asshole Yankee fans, douchebag Sawwwwwwwx fans and worst franchise ever so who the fuck are you to talk Phillies Phans are greeting the arrival of Johan with obnoxious "look at the Mets fans celebrating in January" bullshit type taunts. Eat a dick. We just got the best pitcher in baseball. A lefty, and not some noodle arm pretty boy like Barry Zito. We gave up four guys who will have no impact on the 2008 season regardless of what major league team they are affiliated with. A couple of weeks ago everyone said we were out of this derby and we got him. That's about the best thing that can happen to your team in January so excuse us for being pumped up. Fuckfaces.
ps I loved Glavine downplaying the addition of Santana. He replaces you quite nicely dipshit and is a pretty significant upgrade from your old, no-heart, Braves t-shirt under your Met jersey ass so zip it.
- finally, not to beat a dead horse but this week's super bowl hype has been a series of articles saying definitively that if the Patriots win they are the greatest team ever and nobody else has an argument. This is plain laziness by writers and is also asinine. Did anyone consider the '72 Dolphins the greatest team ever? And just walk away if you find yourself listening to some schmuck saying "Well today's players are bigger and faster". Do you honestly think that players from bygone eras would not eat and train in the same manner that players of today do if the older guys came up now? Back in the day half the team used to smoke cigarettes during halftime in the locker room. Paul Hornung used to wake up after staying out all night chasing poon and drink a serious amount of whiskey in the morning before he walked out the door for practice. Might help explain the gambling problem that got him suspended from the league. Something tells me those activities might be frowned upon in today's environment. If you think they have the best players, fine. If you think they have the best coach that's fine too. But don't use those other points as the thrust of your argument or I'll get Santana to bean you with a heater.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Long Year So Far
You ever have one of those weeks where you wake up on Wednesday and feel like it should already be the following Saturday? We are 23 days into 2008 and I feel like it should be 2012 by tomorrow. After a listless, meandering end to 2007, 2008 has come flying out of its corner throwing haymakers. First the serious stuff:
- I was not a fan of the sneak attack rate cut. At all. Number one, with a FOMC meeting a week away it seems like panic fire. Second, it makes it seem like Bernanke's role is to keep the DJIA at a level to his liking. If shares are overvalued this is a method of artificially propping them up. If they are undervalued investments will flow to them. But trust the market, don't manipulate it. Overpriced houses returning to reasonable price levels as set by the open market is not a crisis, it is a return to reasonable price levels set by the open market (repetition intended).
- needless to say this has catapulted the economy to the forefront of the impending presidential fiasco. Regardless of what happens Republicans are going to be widely blasted for driving the economy into the ground. Obama's solution? More government spending of course! How this will help I have no idea. On a comical sidenote it was funny to hear those two dipshits calling for New Deal type programs to build the infrastructure to boost the economy. Good thinking genius, highway repair will really give this country a shot in the arm. Fucking morons.
Back to Obama for a second. It is at the point now where I am absolutely terrified of this guy. My worst nightmare used to be Billary in office. Now I would welcome her with open arms over Osama. If you ask Osama where the bus station is he'll answer "Government spending". Because taxing the shit out of companies will definitely help the economy. Like it or not, foreign investment is here to stay. Unless of course the tax burden becomes so overwhelming that even the motherfuckers from Dubai walk away with their coin. What's even scarier than Osama's idiocy is the number of idiots that buy into his bullshit and think it would be great to have a "young guy" in there to "change" things. The second to last young guy we had needed to be killed to prevent a nuclear war with the Soviets and the last young guy let our defense flounder until it was so weak that we had people flying planes into buildings on our home turf.
- onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn a lighter note, how about those Giants? I wasn't calling super bowl but I did argue vehemently at the beginning of the year that Eli telling Tiki to stick it was a huge moment for this team. Now he can tell Tiki to suck it all over again. I'm going to assume a Giants loss but I don't think it will carry the stigma that a normal super bowl loss does since they are playing a team that is undefeated and cheats. If the Pats win you'll hear a lot of blowhards like that fuckstick Cris Collinsworth crowning their asses as the greatest team ever. Not true. Best season ever? Yes. Greatest team? No, and their isn't just one team ahead of them either. I will give them one "greatest I've ever seen" title. They have the single best offensive line I have ever seen. I have never, ever seen on any level a line that unfailingly gives their QB so much time. Brady stands flat footed and waits for someone to get open as if they are playing seven on seven drills and he has a red jersey on for good measure. And they can run block too, witness how many times Maroney gets a full head of steam up before he is touched. Hopefully the Giants can pull off the miracle. But with the way 08 is shaping up? It could be a long day..........
- I was not a fan of the sneak attack rate cut. At all. Number one, with a FOMC meeting a week away it seems like panic fire. Second, it makes it seem like Bernanke's role is to keep the DJIA at a level to his liking. If shares are overvalued this is a method of artificially propping them up. If they are undervalued investments will flow to them. But trust the market, don't manipulate it. Overpriced houses returning to reasonable price levels as set by the open market is not a crisis, it is a return to reasonable price levels set by the open market (repetition intended).
- needless to say this has catapulted the economy to the forefront of the impending presidential fiasco. Regardless of what happens Republicans are going to be widely blasted for driving the economy into the ground. Obama's solution? More government spending of course! How this will help I have no idea. On a comical sidenote it was funny to hear those two dipshits calling for New Deal type programs to build the infrastructure to boost the economy. Good thinking genius, highway repair will really give this country a shot in the arm. Fucking morons.
Back to Obama for a second. It is at the point now where I am absolutely terrified of this guy. My worst nightmare used to be Billary in office. Now I would welcome her with open arms over Osama. If you ask Osama where the bus station is he'll answer "Government spending". Because taxing the shit out of companies will definitely help the economy. Like it or not, foreign investment is here to stay. Unless of course the tax burden becomes so overwhelming that even the motherfuckers from Dubai walk away with their coin. What's even scarier than Osama's idiocy is the number of idiots that buy into his bullshit and think it would be great to have a "young guy" in there to "change" things. The second to last young guy we had needed to be killed to prevent a nuclear war with the Soviets and the last young guy let our defense flounder until it was so weak that we had people flying planes into buildings on our home turf.
- onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn a lighter note, how about those Giants? I wasn't calling super bowl but I did argue vehemently at the beginning of the year that Eli telling Tiki to stick it was a huge moment for this team. Now he can tell Tiki to suck it all over again. I'm going to assume a Giants loss but I don't think it will carry the stigma that a normal super bowl loss does since they are playing a team that is undefeated and cheats. If the Pats win you'll hear a lot of blowhards like that fuckstick Cris Collinsworth crowning their asses as the greatest team ever. Not true. Best season ever? Yes. Greatest team? No, and their isn't just one team ahead of them either. I will give them one "greatest I've ever seen" title. They have the single best offensive line I have ever seen. I have never, ever seen on any level a line that unfailingly gives their QB so much time. Brady stands flat footed and waits for someone to get open as if they are playing seven on seven drills and he has a red jersey on for good measure. And they can run block too, witness how many times Maroney gets a full head of steam up before he is touched. Hopefully the Giants can pull off the miracle. But with the way 08 is shaping up? It could be a long day..........
Friday, January 11, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Goose on the Loose
So Goose Gossage got into the hall the other day. I'm going to be honest, I don't have a great deal of baseball watching memories of Goose on the hill. His glory days with the Yankees were well before my time and when he was with the Padres their games against the Mets mostly started at 10:05 Eastern so I didn't exactly have signoff to stay up until the 8th inning of those games at the age of 10. I've heard arguments on both sides of the fence about whether he should be in or not. The numbers aren't there, the numbers don't tell the story, he got in because both his moustache and nickname were badass, and blah blah freakin' blah. Off the top of my head I would have said no to Goose getting in, but it doesn't sicken me that he's in.
What does sicken me is the HOF voting process. Every year there is a guy who falls short, but by fewer votes than the year before. In the year before, he fell short by fewer votes than the year before that, etc. The current example is Jim Rice. Every year he gets a little closer and a little closer and maybe next year he gets over the hump. Is he travelling back in time each year and becoming a better player? Did they comb over the boxscores and uncover an additional 100 dingers that had previously been missing from his stat totals? Did the level of current talent in MLB drop from '06 to '07 to an extent that he was not hall worthy using 2006 players as a gauge but is closer to hall worthy when stacked vs. 2007 players?
Obviously the answer to these questions is no to all. Clearly these guys that stay on the ballot for years and years and years and then finally squirm their way in are getting in because a) endless PR campaigning by them and their writer cronies b) an uninspiring class of new competitors and/or boredom forcing more voters to vote them a yes because they feel like SOMEONE should go in c) a significant change in the individuals voting in which a lot of nay voters no longer cast a ballot and/or d) yes votes because individual voters are simply tired of getting flak for voting no on the chap in question. If it seems cheap it's because it is. But as always, there is another way........
My solution is this: one shot voting. Keep the five year waiting period post-retirement, it gives every voter plenty of time to thoroughly research and reflect on the careers of hall candidates. Remove the cap on the number of inductees per class. If nobody is worthy then nobody gets in. If 30 guys are worthy they all get in. But you get one shot, you're either a hall of famer or you're not. It takes away the campaigning and political bs where good but not great players get in because of their persistence working the phones more than their persistence as players 20 years ago.
What does sicken me is the HOF voting process. Every year there is a guy who falls short, but by fewer votes than the year before. In the year before, he fell short by fewer votes than the year before that, etc. The current example is Jim Rice. Every year he gets a little closer and a little closer and maybe next year he gets over the hump. Is he travelling back in time each year and becoming a better player? Did they comb over the boxscores and uncover an additional 100 dingers that had previously been missing from his stat totals? Did the level of current talent in MLB drop from '06 to '07 to an extent that he was not hall worthy using 2006 players as a gauge but is closer to hall worthy when stacked vs. 2007 players?
Obviously the answer to these questions is no to all. Clearly these guys that stay on the ballot for years and years and years and then finally squirm their way in are getting in because a) endless PR campaigning by them and their writer cronies b) an uninspiring class of new competitors and/or boredom forcing more voters to vote them a yes because they feel like SOMEONE should go in c) a significant change in the individuals voting in which a lot of nay voters no longer cast a ballot and/or d) yes votes because individual voters are simply tired of getting flak for voting no on the chap in question. If it seems cheap it's because it is. But as always, there is another way........
My solution is this: one shot voting. Keep the five year waiting period post-retirement, it gives every voter plenty of time to thoroughly research and reflect on the careers of hall candidates. Remove the cap on the number of inductees per class. If nobody is worthy then nobody gets in. If 30 guys are worthy they all get in. But you get one shot, you're either a hall of famer or you're not. It takes away the campaigning and political bs where good but not great players get in because of their persistence working the phones more than their persistence as players 20 years ago.
Friday, January 4, 2008
2008 Kickoff
Fairly decent buzz going so excuse the fuck ups. Without further adou (adius? adieu? Freddy Adu?); this is just going to be a series of drunken ramblings:
- the other day I watched The Last Boy Scout for the first time. I'm embarassed to admit that I'd never seen it. You know how it is. You're sitting around with a bunch of people and someone brings up a movie that everyone on the planet but you and the starving kid in Africa with the bugs nipping at his forehead have seen and you have two options: number one, pretend you saw it and keep your mouth shut, desperately praying for someone to change the subject, or two, admit you haven't seen it which is akin to admitting you are a fucking leper with multiple gaping sores. The Last Boy Scout is one of those movies where I've gone years choosing option one. Pretty good movie. One question though. Why no sequel? Bruce Willis in his prime, Damon Wayans at his peak, the black-white buddy action/comedy scene was booming, why no Last Eagle Scout? Anyone?
- Also saw Baseketball for the first time. Worth watching (not buying), especially if you're on something. On second thought, make sure you're on something.
- Keeping with the movie theme, bringing it into this decade now. The Kingdom was actually pretty good too. I was expecting the usual Hollywood anti-American bullshit but this flick was pro-us, anti-them and made me want to take the Enola Gay for one more spin around the globe with full cargo (for half the ride). If you don't get that reference, open a fucking history textbook to the chapter on whooping ass.
- Lame fucking bowl season so far. Here's where they are losing me. Take Hawaii-Georgia for instance (and this is not a knock on either team). You know what, fuck it. Hawaii got stuck with maybe the best team in the country across the field and the Warriors are unjustly getting reamed for it. Take OU-WVU. Let's say its mid-September. You pick up the paper and these teams are playing against each other. Good ballplayers, good programs, good fans, good matchup, if its on TV you'll watch it, but you didn't bust a nut in your drawers when you saw they were playing each other. Now why in the fuck am I supposed to get more excited for this game in January now that it has the letters BCS followed by the name of a nacho chip manufacturer in front of it? It isn't for the title, they can't win the title, it has the same significance as a pre-season NFL game.
- One exception to the lame bowl season comment, the Florida-Michigan game. I don't remember seeing anyone who thought Michigan would cover the spread, nonetheless win the game. Exciting game. Great way to go out for the Michigan seniors who had largely disappointing college careers (by Michigan Football standards, not by me passing out behind a dumpster on Fordham Road level college standards). Everyone knocks Lloyd for going 6-7 against THE OSU. That also means he was a couple of bounces from going 7-6. Enjoy retirement Lloyd, you've earned it and the right to give your detractors a gigantic middle finger.
- I feel like the early college hoop season has passed me by and I've totally missed it. I've seen some good action but most of the time I turn on ESPN and its UNC trouncing some scrub team by 35. Are they that good? Has this season been completely devoid of interesting storylines or is that just me?
- In closing, a very fond farewell to Miami Hurricane great Warren Sapp who announced his retirement this week. In the case that he comes back (a distinct possibility), I will copy and paste this tribute again when he retires (again). This may come as a shock to some, but I rank Warren Sapp as one of the five best football players I have ever seen. When I say seen I'm not talking about seeing grainy, black and white footage of Jim Brown bowling over honky defensive ends 25 pounds lighter than him. I'm talking guys I've actually seen play live, in Warren's case from college through retirement (a depressing thought for an aging bag of bones like myself). A lot of people will tick off 10 QB's when they list the 10 best ballplayers they have seen which means they watch the ball, they don't actually watch football. The majority of football players go the entire game without touching the ball. The adage is age old but football games are won in the trenches (or amongst the fat fucks which is what us washed-up non-trench players call them).
And Warren was (is) a fucking assassin. Tackle in the NFL means you have two 300+ pounders hitting you every play. Your job is to keep them off the backers, if you make a tackle once in while it is gravy. A sack is your wet dream, something that happens one or two times a year. Warren had close to 100 sacks facing constant double and triple teams (not to mention chipping backs). He is the prototype for the perfect tackle, strong as an ox or two and built like a brick shithouse. I remember the 1995 draft like it was this morning. The Jets were picking high (as usual) and Sapp was the obvious number one pick in terms of talent. We picked 9th. I couldn't believe Warren was still on the board when our turn came up (yes, it is pathetic when your team's most clearn and memorable moments happen in April). So our rep walks to the podium and the excitement is Christmas morning as a five year old times ten. Of course we select...Kyle Brady. We didn't want Sapp because he had tested positive for................marijuana. Weed. Dope. Grass. Cheeba. Herb. Greenage. Doobage. Schtoobage. Whatever the fuck you want to call it, talk to Cypress Hill if you need more names for it. We passed on the dominant tackle of the entire generation. Not because he did steroids, not because he did HGH, not because he snorted blow, not because he shot up smack, but because he smoked grass, something I am positive at least 99.999999999999999999% of ballplayers at all levels above Pop Warner have done. So Warren vowed revenge on the teams that passed on him. And he got it, just check his hand for that big shiny ring. Congratulations on retirement Warren, its been a pleasure (until we meet again when we see you on TV with a mic in your hand.........)
- the other day I watched The Last Boy Scout for the first time. I'm embarassed to admit that I'd never seen it. You know how it is. You're sitting around with a bunch of people and someone brings up a movie that everyone on the planet but you and the starving kid in Africa with the bugs nipping at his forehead have seen and you have two options: number one, pretend you saw it and keep your mouth shut, desperately praying for someone to change the subject, or two, admit you haven't seen it which is akin to admitting you are a fucking leper with multiple gaping sores. The Last Boy Scout is one of those movies where I've gone years choosing option one. Pretty good movie. One question though. Why no sequel? Bruce Willis in his prime, Damon Wayans at his peak, the black-white buddy action/comedy scene was booming, why no Last Eagle Scout? Anyone?
- Also saw Baseketball for the first time. Worth watching (not buying), especially if you're on something. On second thought, make sure you're on something.
- Keeping with the movie theme, bringing it into this decade now. The Kingdom was actually pretty good too. I was expecting the usual Hollywood anti-American bullshit but this flick was pro-us, anti-them and made me want to take the Enola Gay for one more spin around the globe with full cargo (for half the ride). If you don't get that reference, open a fucking history textbook to the chapter on whooping ass.
- Lame fucking bowl season so far. Here's where they are losing me. Take Hawaii-Georgia for instance (and this is not a knock on either team). You know what, fuck it. Hawaii got stuck with maybe the best team in the country across the field and the Warriors are unjustly getting reamed for it. Take OU-WVU. Let's say its mid-September. You pick up the paper and these teams are playing against each other. Good ballplayers, good programs, good fans, good matchup, if its on TV you'll watch it, but you didn't bust a nut in your drawers when you saw they were playing each other. Now why in the fuck am I supposed to get more excited for this game in January now that it has the letters BCS followed by the name of a nacho chip manufacturer in front of it? It isn't for the title, they can't win the title, it has the same significance as a pre-season NFL game.
- One exception to the lame bowl season comment, the Florida-Michigan game. I don't remember seeing anyone who thought Michigan would cover the spread, nonetheless win the game. Exciting game. Great way to go out for the Michigan seniors who had largely disappointing college careers (by Michigan Football standards, not by me passing out behind a dumpster on Fordham Road level college standards). Everyone knocks Lloyd for going 6-7 against THE OSU. That also means he was a couple of bounces from going 7-6. Enjoy retirement Lloyd, you've earned it and the right to give your detractors a gigantic middle finger.
- I feel like the early college hoop season has passed me by and I've totally missed it. I've seen some good action but most of the time I turn on ESPN and its UNC trouncing some scrub team by 35. Are they that good? Has this season been completely devoid of interesting storylines or is that just me?
- In closing, a very fond farewell to Miami Hurricane great Warren Sapp who announced his retirement this week. In the case that he comes back (a distinct possibility), I will copy and paste this tribute again when he retires (again). This may come as a shock to some, but I rank Warren Sapp as one of the five best football players I have ever seen. When I say seen I'm not talking about seeing grainy, black and white footage of Jim Brown bowling over honky defensive ends 25 pounds lighter than him. I'm talking guys I've actually seen play live, in Warren's case from college through retirement (a depressing thought for an aging bag of bones like myself). A lot of people will tick off 10 QB's when they list the 10 best ballplayers they have seen which means they watch the ball, they don't actually watch football. The majority of football players go the entire game without touching the ball. The adage is age old but football games are won in the trenches (or amongst the fat fucks which is what us washed-up non-trench players call them).
And Warren was (is) a fucking assassin. Tackle in the NFL means you have two 300+ pounders hitting you every play. Your job is to keep them off the backers, if you make a tackle once in while it is gravy. A sack is your wet dream, something that happens one or two times a year. Warren had close to 100 sacks facing constant double and triple teams (not to mention chipping backs). He is the prototype for the perfect tackle, strong as an ox or two and built like a brick shithouse. I remember the 1995 draft like it was this morning. The Jets were picking high (as usual) and Sapp was the obvious number one pick in terms of talent. We picked 9th. I couldn't believe Warren was still on the board when our turn came up (yes, it is pathetic when your team's most clearn and memorable moments happen in April). So our rep walks to the podium and the excitement is Christmas morning as a five year old times ten. Of course we select...Kyle Brady. We didn't want Sapp because he had tested positive for................marijuana. Weed. Dope. Grass. Cheeba. Herb. Greenage. Doobage. Schtoobage. Whatever the fuck you want to call it, talk to Cypress Hill if you need more names for it. We passed on the dominant tackle of the entire generation. Not because he did steroids, not because he did HGH, not because he snorted blow, not because he shot up smack, but because he smoked grass, something I am positive at least 99.999999999999999999% of ballplayers at all levels above Pop Warner have done. So Warren vowed revenge on the teams that passed on him. And he got it, just check his hand for that big shiny ring. Congratulations on retirement Warren, its been a pleasure (until we meet again when we see you on TV with a mic in your hand.........)
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